“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” – Oprah Winfrey

When I started my own journey of transformation, one of the first exercises Robin Sharma challenged me to do was to write on my journal, every night, 10 things I felt grateful for.

At the time this felt so difficult! I thought my life was a disaster, everything around me was dark and scary, I was miserable and lonely.

But if there is one thing that I respond very well to it’s a challenge. It teases me, I have to take it on.

And so, each day, I forced myself to find at least one tiny thing that I was thankful for, and then another, and another until I had the 10 for the day.

Soon I realized that I was starting to value things I had never even noticed before. I was grateful for the beautiful view from my window, the shining sun, someone that passed me by on the street looking happy, a child’s laughter nearby, some silly thing my brother said at lunch that made me smile… I started to value having my parents still alive when so many of my friends don’t, a new flower or tasty strawberries growing in my garden.

Before I new it, the initial effort to find good things in my life was not so big anymore. Soon and effortlessly, whenever I saw something bad, a good one would pop up to my mind, lightening the effect.

And when I started to pay attention to the small little good things that occurred during my day, suddenly more and more started to appear (or maybe they were already there… and I wasn’t seeing).

Today I can say that my glass is almost all full, and I can hardly notice the empty space anymore. I feel so blessed!

Do you want to try to do this for a week and let me know how it feels?

Better yet, I challenge you to do it for 21 days (I heard that anything you do for 21 consecutive days becomes a habit) and dare to tell me your life hasn’t changed for the better!

“Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work; you don’t give up.” – Anne Lamott

Today I had one of those ugly moments when all around me felt dark and scary. Thrown back by the moment I felt dizzy, like the floor under my feet was missing. I couldn’t understand the why! Just a minute before I was feeling on top of the world! How could I go so down, so suddenly?

And then I realized… if I keep turning my head like crazy, looking in all directions, if I let the tears cloud my eyes, no wonder I’m loosing my balance and I cannot see beyond the darkness.

So I stopped for a moment, took the time to breath deep, focused on the inside of me, searched my soul’s purpose. And I told myself: it’s just a thought. You’re reacting to a thought. And what triggered that thought is not about you. What’s really your mission? What is it that you really, really want? If this is not helping you, what will?

And there, in the quietude of my inner being, what seemed like a candle flame lit up. Slowly, I could start to see my way up, out of the dark tunnel I let myself fell in. I knew I was safe. And I knew where I was going. I had just come across another stone on my path and instead of letting it be a barrier, I decided here and now, to make it a stepping stone and allow it to take me even higher.

Every night is followed by a morning as long as you never, ever give up.

“We won’t always know whose lives we touched and made better for our having cared, because actions can sometimes have unforeseen ramifications. What’s important is that you do care and you act.” – Charlotte Lunsford

I’ve lived in Mozambique for 6 years. That’s one of the poorest countries in the world. For the first 2 months I could hardly sleep, I was devastated with the misery around me, I wanted to help everyone, take every child home, feed every homeless I found on the streets, buy every little useless artifact they tried selling me at the market. I felt utterly powerless.

I was working full time, but most of my girl friends were not, they were there to accompany their husbands and had hardly anything to do – even the children were taken care of. I once asked one of them why didn’t she get involved in some sort of institution to help at least the children. There were so many orphanages with huge needs and she had the time and the means. She replied that it was hopeless – nothing she could do would ever be enough. So she did nothing!

This was not an option to me. There had to be something that I could do, besides financial contributions. So, I decided to start at home with my staff. With the house I rented, I had “inherited” 1 cook, 1 maid and a gardener. The company provided 24 hour service guards, and 2 drivers. In time I took another 2 employees that were working in friends’ houses and when they left the country had nowhere to go.

I know, it sounds like a lot of help, specially because we were only two people in the house… But the 6 or 7 people that we were paying for cost us hardly what 1,5 would cost back home and we were actually providing for 7 families. I didn’t care what it looked like.

For some of them, the only proper meals they had the whole day were the ones they had at our home. Some of them had to feed 4 or 5 children plus the parents or the in-laws. Little by little we made sure they all had proper cement houses with toilets, plumbing and electricity. It was such a luxury for them. All the children went to school and they all had clothes and shoes.

It probably wasn’t much… but I felt I had done something and for at least those families I had made a difference.

Where can you make a difference?

“The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams” – Eleanor Roosevelt.

I believe the bigger you dream, the further you will get, as long as you’re willing to take some action towards it.

You are never too young or too old to dream. You know all you need to know, you have everything you need to have. It doesn’t take time, or money, or skills. It doesn’t depend on the weather, on your mood, on your health or on what others may think.

You can dream while you’re asleep or you can just let yourself daydream.

Your dream can be a hope whispered in your ear at the sight of a beautiful sunset. And it can be an idea that pops to your mind at sunrise, inspired by other’s remarkable achievements. Either one tends to keep your thoughts company day and night.

Your dream is YOURs to dream!

Don’t let anyone or anything come in the way of your dream. And don’t ever give up on your dream. But always keep it in close sight! Make it part of your life’s map. Make sure to take, every single day, at least one tiny little step in the direction of your dream. Whatever you do with your life, keep dreaming…

… because your dreams can come true!

Very often I see people almost drowning in so many tasks they say they need to finish, actions they believe they need to accomplish, not able to stretch time, split between priorities, trying to figure out what’s more urgent. And moving from one thing to another without finishing anything. The result is unequivocally frustration! And stress! And weariness!
How could it not be?

Byron Katie once said: “When we do the thing in front of us, everything that we are to do, everything that needs to be done is always done. Also, when we are doing the thing in front of us, doing the thing we know to do in the moment, we are one-minded, mind is not at war, split, in competition with itself, and that is where love lives. When we just do the thing in front of us, even if it’s just walking, closing the car door, picking up the socks, we are always creating a better world and life is loved without effort. No decision, no fear. That is how it works. When people say “I want”, and I watch them live differently than it takes to get what they want, I see clearly that they don’t want it, and that their mind is split, and when they believe that they want it, they are believing the opposing thoughts that are running. You will always suffer when your mind wants two opposing things at once.”

So, just choose one thing. One thing that you know is important to get you what you want. Just a single one. And focus all your attention to doing that one thing. Be fully present to it. Forget the other things you need to do. Forget the other things you should also be doing. Don’t leave it till you’ve finished it. You only have that one single thing to do in the world. Put all your heart and soul to it.
And when you’re done, feel the power of creation in you!

This might be the simplest time management system in the world, but I assure you it’s the most effective one too.

What’s the next one and only thing on your list for today?

We were all born pure, simple, worry free, just plain happy!

Around us, well-meaning adults, did the best they could to help us grow up and fit in, to protect us from some evil we had no idea existed, to create the life they thought would be the best for us.

Doing this they started making up the story of who you were or who you were meant to be. With the best of intentions, no doubt!

Little did they know how this story – your own story – could limit you and get in the way of everything you could ever become.

Is your story really true? I could bet it isn’t.

Notice how often you don’t do something because you think you don’t know enough, or you aren’t good enough or even because you’ve simply never tried it before. How paralyzing can these thoughts be?

Imagine, just imagine, you actually had done it a thousand times before and you were pretty good at it. Would you be worried about doing it again? No! You wouldn’t spend a second thinking about how to do it, or what would be people’s reactions if you did it. You would just get on and do it as the most natural thing in the world, right?

So, whenever an opportunity occurs, why not choose a different story, a story that helps you move forward instead of tying you back?

You can always create your new story and make it true the moment you decide to take fearless action against all odds.

Want to try it?

One of my teachers in Supercoach Academy who also became my mentor is Dr. Greg Baer. He teaches about Real Love and he defines it this way:

Real Love is unconditionally caring about the happiness of another person, meaning, without any thought for what we might get for ourselves in return.

I often hear people say that they unconditionally love their children, or their partner. Sometimes they even say they would give their lives for them! But is this really true?

Take a good look at your own behavior. Think about how you relate to your spouse, your lover, your children, your siblings, your friends or even co-workers.

Do you accept them exactly as they are and contribute to their happiness the best you can? Do you care about how they feel? Or do you like how they make you feel?

Notice if you ever:

-       Caught yourself telling a lie (even a tiny innocent one) just so that the person in front of you wouldn’t think less of you, to cover for a mistake, to avoid disappointment – that’s LYING.

-       Reacted with anger, making other people feel guilty, criticizing them, withdrawing approval, physically intimidating them, using a position of authority – that’s ATTACKING.

-       Convinced people that you’ve been injured or treated unfairly, so that you get their sympathy, attention and support: “How could you do this to me?”; “How could you not do this for me?”; “It’s not my fault” – that’s PLAYING VICTIM.

-       Moved away from a painful situation, withdrawing, avoiding people, leaving relationships, being shy, seeking refuge in drugs or alcohol – that’s RUNNING.

-       Flattering people who do things for us, being excessively grateful, buying people’s love with gifts – that’s CLINGING.

These are all different sorts of getting and protecting behaviors we use to fill our own emptiness and our fears. And we use them because they usually produce an immediate response. The problem is that the satisfaction we get is only temporary and it will end up affecting our long-term relationships. This is not unconditional love.

Wouldn’t you like to really love and be loved unconditionally?

Yesterday I went to see Al Di Meola and his world symphony perform at the Funchal Jazz Festival. Awesome! Absolutely fabulous!
This was the perfect example of somebody who really does what he most loves to do! And is great at it, by the way! He performed uninterruptedly for a couple of hours and he was having so much fun doing it! His enthusiasm, his true joy spread to the audience and the thousands of people watching were all shaking, dancing or clapping at the contagious rhythm.

Have you noticed how beautiful it is to see somebody’s eyes lighten up when they’re talking about something they really enjoy doing? There’s no money in the world that pays that!

When I lived in Mozambique I had a hobby of creating jewellery using indigenous materials. When I was at it, I totally lost track of time! I could go on and on for hours, not noticing the noise or the people around me, even forgetting to eat or to sleep! Such was the pleasure I got out of that!

Some people have jobs or own businesses that make them feel this way. And often they don’t realize how lucky they are. This sort of positive energy is something that we should all try to get into our lives. And it’s up to each of us to do that. Don’t wait for somebody else to provide it to you!

Think about what it is that you most love to do. The thing that really warms your heart, brightens your face, helps you forget the worries… Got it? Ok, if it’s still not what you get to work on, make sure you include some of it on your weekly planning.

How richer does your life feel now?

You probably don’t know me or, at least not enough to know that this is really true, but you might be willing to give me the benefit of the doubt…

… oh! What a journey this last year has been for me! How far have I come!

And yet, today, is the first day of the rest of my life, a new life for me, because I’ve decided to share it more openly with more people, because today I’m launching my website and my blog.

I’m 44 years old (I know, I don’t look it… but I am!) and I could say I’ve lived a lot. Some might argue it wasn’t that much; some might think I’m already on the descending curve… Anyway for me, I’ve lived a full life so far. A life full of joy and full of sorrow, but mostly full of enriching experiences that led to who I am today.

Whatever happened in the past, what matters is what I will do today with who I am and what I’ve got, now.

The fantastic thing I’ve recently learned is that I get to create the life I want to live from now on! I get to choose how I’m going to feel today, no matter what!

And today, the first day of the rest of my life, I choose to love myself just the way I am and gratefully accept all the good things that come my way, every single day!

How does the first day of the rest of your life feel for you?